George Bernard Shaw once said:
“There are two great tragedies in life. The first is not getting what you want. The second is getting it.”
He was right. Both hurt, just in different ways.
Not getting what you want
We all know this one. You try for something and it slips away. The job goes to someone else. The savings never seem to add up. The goal you worked toward for months still falls short.
That kind of loss builds endurance. It forces you to carry the ache and keep moving anyway.
Getting what you want
This one feels like it should be different, but it isn’t. You finally land the promotion and discover it comes with stress and long nights. You buy the dream house and then meet the mortgage bills and repairs. You reach the big milestone you were chasing, and it still doesn’t bring the peace you expected.
This kind of “win” teaches perspective. The thing you thought would fix everything rarely does.
The real truth
Both tragedies show the same lesson: outcomes don’t save you. Not getting what you want leaves you restless. Getting it leaves you wanting more.
The only way out is learning how to live inside the process.
- Enjoy the work for its own sake.
- Notice small wins instead of throwing them away as “not enough.”
- Pay attention to the present, because most of life is made of small, ordinary moments.
- Stop tying your identity to outcomes. You’re not your paycheck, your house, or your failures.
- Pick paths that matter even if the prize never shows up.
Not getting what you want builds endurance.
Getting it builds perspective.
Both are painful. Both are teachers.
And if you can learn to find some joy in the steps themselves, then maybe neither tragedy has the final word.
